A Diesel Haze

When a woman wears leather clothing,

a man's heart beats quicker,

his throat gets dry,

he goes weak in the knees,

and he begins to think irrationally.



Ever wonder why?



scroll down...











Because she smells like a new truck.

A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud 'thud' and then he would swerve back on the road.

As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road. "I'll give you a lift." The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road.

Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud 'thud'.

Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer."

The priest replied, "That's OK, I got him with the door."

:-)

t

It got crowded in heaven so for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died."

The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died."

St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.

He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"

St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.

"Tell me about the day you died?" he said to the third man in line. "Okay picture this - I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator..."

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son: "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car." The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut. The boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair... and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair."

To this his father replied, "Did you also notice they walked everywhere they went?"

As a dad with grown sons, I LOVE this one. :D

t

In the sleepy village of Erbum,
in the town of Tillet, Hertfordshire

lives a lady by the name Linda Lykes

She owns the local pub called The Cock Inn.






Her mail is addressed:

Linda Lykes
The Cock Inn
ERBUM
Tillet, Herts.


t

I Mean it, they really do. Just try hauling them.

Ok I know some of you have, that only means you know what I'm talking about.

These things are one of the most fragile things you can put on a truck, the temp has to be maintained at a PERFECT setting, around 35 degrees constant. The unit better be a new one or damn close and ONLY air ride trailers can be used. (the trailer I'm under right now is NEW, brand NEW) The longer they are in the truck, the better the chance you have of loosing them or having them rejected by your customer. I've determined by a VERY scientific method (Chicken bones and Tarot Cards) that you have about a 50/50 chance with any load of berries that it will be rejected.

I protested this load the second I inspected the first couple of pallets. I protested it to the shipper and my company. The problem? The berries were PERFECT. I mean get the whipping cream and some short cakes PERFECT. You don't want perfect berries at the shipper, you want slightly green berries, the longer the trip the greener the berry. For long trips you want berries "bagged and gassed" (Each pallet encased in a large baggie and filled with an inert gas, like argon) I still wont give you better than 50/50 of getting the entire load off without a problem.

WalMart determined that of 2870 cases, (22960 1 Pint boxes), 2750 of them were at a decay level of 1%... Can someone tell me how the HELL you determine a 1% decay level?? I've been around produce most of my life, citrus and other products were part of the family business for years. I've hauled produce for at least half of my trucking career of 21 (and counting, slowly...) years. When I'm not pulling over sized loads, I move produce and temp control loads. I know this job. I've seen USDA inspectors tear through a whole load of produce and I have never been told "these have a 1% decay level".

WTF?

Sigh... anyway, stuck with 2750 Cases (25 pallets) of berries for the moment, have a new destination but no appointment or unload data.

Hope I don't have to eat these things... well, no more than a pint or so...

t

Is all in their heads...

Its funny how fast I can get in trouble and get called names, especially if I'm trying. ;-)

By the way, this political blather is here because it directly involves truckers.

As most know I'm pretty active on Twitter, have a lot of friends there and almost as many enemies. I make no efforts to gain ether, they just show up. I have a rule though, I will rarely tolerate a liberal and will NOT tolerate a troll. I just block them and move on. My numbers on twitter are true and honest, I've never used a follow program to inflate my numbers. I really pay little attention to them. If everyone dropped me today I would just tweet to the spammers. (Few of my numbers are spammers, I block them too)

That said, we move on to the issue at hand. Illegal Immigration and the new laws in Arizona. I'm a firm supporter of the new law just because SOMETHING had to be done. We AZ taxpayers are out BILLIONS of dollars paid out to support an illegal population. Schools take a major hit and AZ schools are NOT the top of the heap to begin with. Law enforcement is taxed to the limit and health care is out of control. County and State programs are tapped out and they keep coming.

Enter the trolls;
I talk to a lot of drivers on Twitter, but they make up a small percentage of my "group". There was one, a woman driving husband wife team for Swift transport out Phoenix. Always pretty quiet, asking a few solid professional questions of older drivers and a few firearms related questions of me, (CCW mostly) though I'm no expert on the laws. Recently I noted that she had found a group to play with, all liberals, all trolls. Most of these people I had blocked at some point over the last year or so. Since the passing and signing of the immigration laws her tweets and retweets turned hateful and spiteful, all focused on the "injustice" of a legal move by the state of AZ. She doesn't live in AZ, its not her problem, but others want her involvement.

Then the boycott bullshit started showing up. She was pushing a list of AZ companies to boycott and insisted she was dedicated to the boycott. I decided to block her but being in a nasty mood yesterday I decided on some fun first and a little "point making". Remember who I said she worked for? Swift, based and founded in Phoenix AZ. The most logical question was?

Have you quit your job yet?

The answer is of course, "NO, why should I?" Because if you are committed to this childish boycott idea, you MUST. Otherwise you're just one more hypocrite on the left. Hours of screwing with her produced the same kind answer to the same question. One of her answers, that I suspect was "fed" to her at some point, I'm certain, was right out of Alinski's "Rules for Radicals" To her credit it took her until after midnight last night to call me a name. Being called a name was the first thing I had on my list of goals. I assure you her friends STARTED by calling me a name or ten. Some of the worst trash in trucks came to her aide, but as they are all blocked, I can't see it and I'm not interested enough to go look, but I could tell she was being prompted, at least some.

By the way, that list of companies to boycott that she was pushing? Swift isn't on it. She claimed she would not spend a dime of money in AZ or on a product from AZ, all without have an idea of what she was saying. Example: TRW is an AZ company... Does your car have air bags? Boycott that... Not a clue... However my point was clear, The money she sends into AZ, far out weighs the money Swift gives her in her weekly Easter basket. She didn't get it. No commitment to her own "cause". Hypocrite

This evening, another driver from NC, that I don't even know, (we don't follow each other) ask her the same question. He was immediately attacked by the Twittering Twucker Twat and some little half man calling himself Dr. Dodo or redo or something. (TTT is a socialist that wants a handout that will get her OUT of a truck and out of an honest job, wants to speak for truckers, and be famous, all with 2 years experience in a 3rd rate training company. Dodo is just an idiot that does anything she tells him to.)

The answer? The same, she wont boycott her own company. It wouldn't be convenient I suppose. It showed her commitment to her "cause", and as I determined, it shows she's just one more liberal hypocrite.

I blocked her when I got tired of her. That was my intention from the start as I told a couple of people I ask to watch the fun.

If you have a "cause", even one as stupid and impossible as a boycott of AZ, at least be grown up enough to follow it though.

Half Measures by Half Ass politicians are what got us here to begin with.


Was I an asshole and a bully for treating her like that?
Yeah, I admit it, I was, and I'm fucking proud of it. She wants to run with the big dogs but she never will because she can't loose her wing men.

Big Dogs are solo artists.

Liberalism is a disease that needs to be stomped on where ever you find it. You really don't have to justify THAT.


What you have just read is an opinion, mine. You don't have to like it and there are some that I hope HATES it.

t